Can Quiet and Fun Co-Exist?

I've noticed something about myself here lately over this fall semester.  The loud noises really get to me.  Since I've been married, my husband has told me that I'm an old lady when it comes to sounds.  I don't like the radio very loud, don't enjoy noisy restaurants, jump at sudden sounds, etc.

At our school December staff meeting, we played this fun game of pictionary where teams had to draw to help others guess the name of the Christmas carol.  Very fun, but competitive, and when another staff member walked up behind me and shouted, "Go team!", I about came out of my skin and moved away.

Another example of this was made clear to me when my Mom visited for Christmas and was telling me about an extended family member who has PTSD.  And knowing that this family member was only 12 years old, I asked my Mom how this was possible, since it's usually associated with military members.  She explained that the Mom of this child is half deaf and deals in shouting only.  This child has learned to cope with this by ignoring the Mom until it's full blown shouting and anger for him not listening, which then makes him jumpy and he acts out.

I have some family members myself who are just naturally loud, as am I from time to time.  In fact before the break, I had to apologize to a student because they thought I was picking on them.  And we discovered it's just because I'm loud.  Mind you, to me, it's my normal speaking voice, but to this child, it was loud enough to stress them out and scare them.  So all this got me thinking, are there other students we interact with who have noise issues too, maybe not as severe or noticeable, but could we speak softly and still get our point across?  Volume does not equal compliance.  In some cases, ok, many, volume equals stress, anxiety, discouragement, anger, chaos, etc, even if the message is a positive one.

Now, I can hear the thoughts now, but quiet places are boring places.  But do they have to be?  Is it possible to have a quiet (not silent), fun, engaging classroom for all our student's to thrive in?  I say yes!  Now, I can't answer that how for anyone, only myself.  It's all about finding what works and running with that.  So, just some things I've noticed lately that I know will carry into this new semester with me as we run the race of teaching.

The Wife, Mom, Teacher Inside Me

It's October...pumpkins, slightly cooler temps (well, 90's instead of 100's in Texas), festivals, and family time.  But for me, it's that last part, family time, that has me thinking today.

I knew stepping back into the classroom after 5 years out would be work.  I'm not one to stray away from hard work or long hours, I mean I worked on my Master's degree while having the most busy, stressful role I've had in all my professional education years yet, while my husband traveled for his profession and still managed our home and family events with 3 daughters, one that was only a year old then.  So, no stranger to hard work, but for some reason finding that balance hasn't been so easy this school year so far.

If you're not familiar with education, let me see if I can paint a verbal picture you can imagine.  The teacher has countless meetings during their "planning period" each day that include content planning with their team, IEP meetings for special education students, parent meetings by phone, email, and in person for families to stay up with their child's learning, along with actual teaching, managing resources, time, behaviors, temperaments, in some cases changing hormones of kids, personalities and conflicts, as well as, other staff to handle situations with.  It's very much like looking at your computer suddenly and realizing that you have 90 tabs open in your internet browser and all of them are important.  I saw a student this past week on the ground building a sandcastle in the middle of the soccer field, while about thirty other boys were running around them playing soccer dodging them and I said to myself, "That's how I feel right now."

My youngest daughter is six years old and for the first time ever in my kid's schooling, we made a change to accommodate me, so that I could work closer to home.  The last thirteen years I was at the same school, so my oldest and middle one had a very stable schooling environment.  My youngest has been telling me that she hates school and as I listen to her and try to figure out why, because she has the sweetest teacher I could ever imagine, I began to understand that she is saying this because of the workload that I carry that takes time away from her.  She's begging for my attention, along with my other two daughters and husband.  See the location hasn't changed my work ethic.  I still work hard, long hours trying to be excellent at everything I put my hand to.  I'm a perfectionist in some areas of my life, and that involves my work.  But in that perfectionism, I'm leaving the most important people behind to do tasks and it's driving me crazy.  See the reason I love education so much, is that it's a people business, not a task business and as an educator, we can get so caught up in the task of teaching, the task of planning, the task of meetings, etc, that we forget about the people involved and our own families.

So while I will follow this:

I also need to remember these people:

So, this October, I'm learning to balance.  You'd think that after 18 years I'd have learned this by now, but each new year presents its own challenges and learning happens all over again.  I hope you get to enjoy some family time as well!

Calling on the Fat Guy

Teaching runs in my extended family.  My mother in law was a Bilingual Teacher for tons of years before she retired about 10 years back.  I've been teaching now 18 years too, and my husband is in his 7th year teaching.  So, I've often heard it said from those that are more seasoned, "Don't let them see you smile till Thanksgiving." So in my mind, they were saying, "Be stern, don't let up till then."  But I always had a problem with that.  See, we don't learn from those people who we don't like.  I found this true with my own self in college, and again with my own children.  If we don't like that teacher, if they are rude, disrespectful, always complaining, never have a kind word, then forget it.  I'll never be able to do anything right or worthy of praise, so forget it.  And we mentally check out and just try to either survive that class and "make it through" or end up dropping it altogether to take something else from someone else.

This past week at school (I teach 5th Gr Math/Science, so that should explain a lot.), we began diving into harder concepts, power of 10 in Math, and actual labs where they had to think, plan, write, discuss, not just fill out a worksheet and circle C.  That's not so easy for kids period.  To ask a 10 year old to explain WHY is like looking at a deer in the headlights.  They automatically assume they are wrong just because I said, "Why?"  And I'm trying to get them to understand that they might be right, but I need them to verbalize why they think the way they do.  It's problem solving and communication skills at its most basic level.  

Well, this week, in reviewing some power of 10 Math concepts, I began asking questions, and ended up with the same 2 or 3 students answering over and over, and eventually, I had to say, "Sorry, not {Student A}.  Not {Student B}", etc.  Well, one of my boys, who is very animated, got frustrated with me because I wouldn't call on him after he had answered several other times, and I paused to see who else could answer.  And that's when he blurted out, "Awww, come on Mrs. Windham, call on the fat guy."  To which, my entire class, student teacher included, burst into laughter.  And he then said, "Well, I like to eat, what?" thinking maybe we were laughing at him.  To which, I responded, "That's ok, I like to eat too!" (because both him and I are built the same).  And he began laughing too.

It was one of those moments that we will all remember, even at the end of their 5th grade journey.  But it simply reminded me, that these are 10 year olds and they will never learn anything I need them to learn if they don't feel like I like them.  

You see, it's the same kid who had a challenging year last year, that I'm determined to make into a successful 5th grader this year, because he will know that I like him as a person first...he's SOMEBODY (our word of the year).  Yes, I as the teacher, may feel like the Ringmaster at a circus some days, but as my student teacher noted last week, "Mrs. Windham, I think they respond to you because you're just a great teacher." To which I replied, "No, it's just that teaching is part teaching and part theater."  I have to interject moments into our day, that will focus my unfocused, corral my monkeys, and interest my uninterested.  So, if I stop and dab in class, but call it the wrong dance name, I know my students will correct me, laugh at my mistake, and we will move on to more learning.  They know I'm trying to be active in their generation, but they also already know, even though it's only been two weeks, that first I care, and second, that I expect and demand greatness.  And demanding doesn't mean forcing, it means, we're a class of learners, so I expect that we work together, we clean together, we walk quietly together, we honor other classes learning time together, and we laugh together.  We will have fun, we will make messes, but we will all be successful, because I choose to call on the fat guy.

Hope you have a blessed school year as I'm having!

The Great Equalizer

It's that time of year again, preparations for a successful start of school.  I've already been up at my campus getting ready, have helped my husband get his class ready, and will go back full time tomorrow for 2 weeks of staff development.  And I've unfortunately, already seen plenty of memes and bingo cards for educators to use in faculty meetings that are negative.  So sad.  I've also been thinking about what I want to say in my very first #WindhamWeekly address to my families and students to set us on a path of encouragement and inspiration.  So many words and thoughts are swimming in my head and my goal is to not go over 5 minutes any week, so I've got to narrow it down to what is the most important things I want to convey...what is so critical that it has to be recorded so it can be referenced later.  And it got me thinking about my own non-negotiables for my family, my church, and my class.  Three things stuck out to me: Time, Kindness, and Honesty.  

TIME

I value time.  To me, it is the GREAT EQUALIZER.  Each one of us has the same number of minutes in each day...though none of us knows how many days we are given.  Kind of a chilling and sobering thought.  But what it means to me, is that every minute of each day is something I can't get back, so I want to use it wisely, put value into it, by strengthening others, encouraging others, doing all I can with my family, loved ones, etc.  It's people that make this world a special place, not projects.  I've talked about this in a previous post.

KINDNESS

The next item is kindness.  Some folks say respect.  So similar, but really not.  See respect means keeping those ugly thoughts in my head and not saying them, but treating you kind (outward actions only).  Kindness means that even my very thoughts are full of positive things towards you (inward and outward actions).  I want my own children and my students to use kindness in all they do, but this is something that has to be modeled.  How to handle tricky situations, people that annoy you, what to do when a crisis or tragedy finds us, etc.  If I can get my students to that place of kindness, then time is saved in having to deal with hurt feelings and behavior situations that require interventions.

HONESTY

The last non-negotiable for me is honesty.  We all make mistakes.  Even as an adult, I still make mistakes.  I just had to apologize to my oldest daughter this morning for yelling at her on the way to church.  I yelled because she didn't stop at a red light and nearly hit another car.  When we are dishonest, time is taken away to investigate, soothe feelings, fix broken things, etc.  I always tell my own girls and my students, just tell the truth.  If you messed up, admit it, let's fix it, learn from it, and move on.  Let's not dwell on the mistake, and let's not try to hide it.  You will get in twice as much trouble if you lie about something because you made the mistake and then covered it up.  Just be honest.

So, really kindness and honesty both go back to time as well, the GREAT EQUALIZER.  And that's the most critical thing I can convey to my families and students {and all those educators sitting through meetings} as we set out on a wild ride through the last year of elementary together.  I pray that this year is full of great memories both for my family and my students, and I pray that they value time, and they know I'm fully behind them and want only the best for them.  I pray that it's a blessed year for you as well.

School Supplies, Really?

I am a family of five.  Both my husband and I are teachers in neighboring school districts, as well as serving as volunteer Children's Pastors at our small church.  In a gist, our entire lives revolve around kids.  And I'd have it no other way.  I know that this is an area that God has called us to be in...serving kids and families.

But I have to say that around this time of the year that school supplies seem to get a bad rap.  For quite a few years, we've hosted a school supply drive at our local church for families who couldn't afford them.  For a while there, my family was one who even benefited from them as my husband was between work for a summer or two.  And what I'm about to say does in no way mean that I refuse to help others or donate to those in need.  But I think this summer my NO button is getting a work out.  

You see, I've watched a few families get help from schools or other organizations only to turn around and use the help for themselves (adults) instead of their kiddos.  Now before you get all upset, I know I shouldn't base what I do on the actions of others...it's like when I see a person on the side of the road holding a sign asking for money, I have no second thoughts to donate to them (if I have it then), knowing that what they do with it is between them and God, but in the area of supplies, I don't know, just no.  Plus, now that my husband and I are both school teachers, I find that in this season of the year, we spend a great deal on school supplies for our classrooms, our own students, and our own children, now that all 3 are in school.  I'm not unwilling to help a family I personally know and are truly in need, I just feel compelled to not give to large supply drives since I wonder if the things actually make it into the hands that need them.  And in working in Title I schools, both my husband and I have experienced the funds and things available for families in these income situations, so I don't feel bad saying no this summer.

Teachers are the only folks I know who routinely spend money on families and students that aren't part of their own family or church.  And this summer when I spend, and I will, I want to know who is benefiting and see the impact it makes daily, instead of a detached gift.  Maybe you don't agree, and that's ok, but that's where I am this summer.  Looking forward to a new start this school year!

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Find Your Laughter Y'all

I know nationally, Teacher Appreciation Week, is early in May...but at my campus we delayed it so that all could enjoy it to its fullest, given that state testing was still going on and end of year appraisals were happening with administrators and staff.  We did in fact enjoy a week full of treats, catered lunches, special dress days, etc.  The fun has spilled over into this week as well.  Today, our staff enjoyed "Disney Dress Up Day" with their teams and the smiles and laughter were contagious, among our staff and students.  Y'all we've got to find our laughter!  You know, well if you don't you are living in a hole, that the Chewbacca Mom (Candace Payne) video went viral, not because of the mask or the sounds, but because of her infectious laughter!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, teaching and public education, are THE hardest jobs on this planet.  We are modern day missionaries with our hands tied behind our backs so many times.  So why on this Earth would we involve ourselves, or allow others to, trash talk us, gossip about others on campus, or just generally spread their negativity.  We've got to find our laughter and spread our joy with others!  We just have to!

You see if we, the staff, don't enjoy school and are negative all the time, will our students enjoy school?  Will they love school?  Will they run to your class everyday to find out "what's next"?  Will they be upset to miss our class?  Will they laugh in our class today?  

Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."  Will you help be good medicine today?  I know I will...this life is too short to be anything but happy and help others find their joy and laughter.  If you're in a spot where you can't find your laughter and joy, it's time to make some changes...maybe in yourself, but maybe outside yourself.  Find your laughter today!  The world needs more of it!

Need some inspiration?  Check out this article I found through Twitter. "101 Ways for Teachers to be More Creative"

Need some smiles?  Then hop on over to my Twitter page or click here to see some of our teams in their #DisneyDressUpDay outfits.

Me or We?

Since I've been so excited about going back to the class, my creative brain has been working overtime.  Pinterest has been my friend, Amazon wishlists, and Google searches.  I'm very interested in flexible seating arrangements, class jobs, and ways to organize minimally, along with all my techie things.  And I'm excited about the possibilities.  However, what I've noticed is that me has entered into my thoughts more than we.  See if this sounds familiar: "Boy, I wish I had this for my class." "Man this would be so cool in my class." "Wow, that's an amazing way to set up my class."  See it's all me, me, me thoughts.  And I'm finding that I have to remind myself that there's a we involved.  All the ideas I've found and really would like to have, have to work for the we, our students.  After all, schools are for students, not so adults can have jobs.  It's a quote I found from kidsdeserveit.com and I love it!  

So, yes, some of the things I want, serve a selfish purpose, to help me be a better teacher, but I have to keep in mind that the majority of the things and ideas I find need to help the we.  Seating to help my struggling learners, my wiggly kiddos, to inspire creativity in my students.  Class jobs to create a community in our class, to give students value and affirm their opinions and decisions.  Organization systems that help me stay on top of things for families, students become better learners and be able to access learning quicker with safety in mind when moving about.  And techie things, well that's a duh.  Love technology, but not just technology for technology sake.  Technology to help develop creators, innovators, and problem solvers.

Just a reflection from my searches lately...I hope you and I both keep this in mind as we close out our school year.  Even with the 6 days left in my district, we still have opportunities to impact students {and staff} positively and send them into summer excited to try something new, excited about school, and with goals to work towards. Yes, goals, even through the summer.  My mantra...I seriously love learning!  We need every opportunity to instill this love of learning into our students.  Let's not waste a single minute.

Link for pic

All At Once

I experienced something today that made me wonder if that wasn't how our students feel sometimes...overwhelmed, like there was too much to be fixed to become successful.

My van, which I talked about in a previous post, gave me more problems last night into this morning.  It wouldn't start when I got ready to head home yesterday.  Had to have it jumped by family.  No, I didn't leave the lights on or anything like that, I checked.  But when I arrived home last night, I put it on the electric battery charger that we own.  Let it charge all night, green light this morning, but when I cranked it up, nothing but clicks.  So frustrating.  Then, I got to drive our most reliable, yet oldest (20 years old) truck cramming me and two of my daughters in with me, listening to them complain the whole time about not having enough room, having to deal with no radio, with me putting their backpacks in the bed of the truck, and on and on.  Then, my oldest (a junior in HS), telling me about the fees she needs for Senior Year, and how they are due before end of May, knowing that we just shelled out a pretty penny for her letter jacket last week, and knowing that I would have to replace a van battery at some point, and knowing that my oil change light keeps coming on, with an empty gas tank, and needing an inspection and registration update on my van.  And when I finally made it to school, late of course, I had left myself a big pile of copying to do, paperwork to file, and a long to do list.  It was all at once, overwhelming.  And it got me thinking about our students, and talking to myself-no I'm not crazy, but I do believe that what we deal with is 90% in our head and 10% reality.  So, I'm telling myself, "Breathe, Windham, Breathe!" and "It's not the end of the world."

And what I thought about our students, was, I wonder if they ever feel this way?  Do we, as teachers, give them all their things that they need to work on, skills they struggle with, hurdles they need to learn to deal with behaviorally, all at once?  Or do we help them identify the one to two critical things to focus on, improve upon, and show them how to get better before moving on?  I know I've been guilty of laying it all out for them.  Wanting to be honest with them and put all the "cards on the table" so to speak.  But is this really the best way?  I'm not proposing lying or hiding things from our students, but do we help them focus on only a couple of areas at a time, and rank it for them so they know what is the most critical?  You see, knowing I need an oil change, inspection, registration, and new battery, upon all the other Senior Daughter fees, I had to prioritize and pay, albeit begrudgingly, the $165 for a new battery for my van, but it was critical.  Do we help our students learn to prioritize and focus or do we overwhelm them with too much all at once?

Just some perspective for me.  Thought I would share.

Back to the Classroom!

I'm thrilled, over the moon excited, to be saying, "I'm going back to the classroom next year!!"  And I've gotten mixed responses from others when I say this too.

I will be teaching 5th gr Math/Science next school year at a new school (well, not so new, but new to me).

For someone who has been out of the classroom five years now, it's often hard for others to really understand the thought process of wanting to go back to the classroom.  The very phrase, seems like you're taking steps backward in your educational career, but for me it's invigorating to say the least.  I will get to enjoy the most important thing about any school-the students.  I will get to do things that I've been teaching others to do.  I will get to be more self directed and less state directed, at least coming from a Testing Coordinator role to a Teacher.  Ahhhh--Teacher--The most important job on this planet!  I will get to dive in with Google Classroom with the older kiddos with all the learning I've done this school year.  I will get to do experiments, spark imagination, bring structure to chaos, communicate with families in new ways, motivate the unmotivated, and help struggling students set goals and celebrate their growth!  And I will get to use my creativity with  my content and teams of other professionals, and leave the desk and paper trail that seems to be ever present currently, behind.  So, no, I'm not upset to be going back to the classroom, I've thrilled, elated, energized, and already working on beginning of the year plans...I can't wait!

These past five years have helped me to grow like no other.  I've learned how to work with adults and all the different personalities.  I was inspired and encouraged to complete my Master's degree, which started me on my technology journey.  See, believe it or not, technology was my weakness in many surveys during that program, so I was forced to face my weakness and develop perseverance, grit, and more determination and resilience that I ever thought possible and learn, experiment, fail, and try again.  I've had the opportunity to face hard folks, hard conversations, and develop braveness and a thick skin and have learned not to take things personally, and to see what lies under the outer words, what drives them.  I've had so many opportunities to observe other master teachers in action, to learn from the best.  I've seen and experienced testing from the other side of the table.  And I've experienced a "catch-all" specialist role.  All of these experiences have made me more understanding and patient.  And all of these years have made me better and I can't wait to share a better me with some students and families this upcoming school year!  Bring it on!!! 

Is it an emergency?

Do you ever find yourself saying this?

Is it an emergency?

More and more I find that I do. It's not because I don't want to help someone, quite the opposite.  It frustrates me to no end to ask someone else to wait or send me an email about something that is an emergency in their world because I'm dealing with them in my own.

Remember, this position I'm in this school year is one that is brand new to my campus, never been done before. And for that fact, there isn't an official, written job description to follow.  It's up to my Principal, District Testing Coordinator, and my own self-starting self to figure things out.  So, we've already been through our first round of STAAR.  But now, we are one school week out from the biggest, busiest week of the year for any Elementary Testing Coordinator and I find myself more and more asking folks that saying, "Is it an emergency?" I want to help you with your laptop that is broken, or to help you load a network printer, or help you with some other technology concern, since technology is my passion, but it's not my primary role.  Testing is.  And so I must prioritize things, events, even family functions and trips to the grocery store around preparations for this BIG week.   Schedules must be written out, rosters checked twice (like Santa), new students investigated to determine services, teachers trained, walls and halls checked, numbered booklets and scans inventoried and accounted for, pencils sharpened, papers copied, folders organized, and on and on.  And I can tell that others are not used to me saying that phrase, because I get the looks, not in a bad way, just in a "Oh, you've never said that before" kind of way.  I am eager to help, but now I must prioritize.  

Every role we serve in, from parent to educator to administrator, comes with priorities.  It's up to us in each role to figure out what's important.  And I will say that those important things shift seasonally, but one thing that will always be important is people.  So, I must temper myself when I say that dreaded phrase and phrase it in a respectful, caring way, so that I don't sever those relationships.

So, that's what I'm working on lately, prioritizing, and still being respectful. What are you working on?

I Get It {Finally}!

I've never professed to be a quick wit...always having a witty reply a day or so later.  But tonight at dinner, out at a crowded restaurant with my family, I finally got something my "Mentoring AP" has been saying for some time.

See, when the going gets tense, stressful, or may seem overwhelming, our admin tend to offer rewards for staff to jump in and do a little extra.  

Let me give you an example.  It's mid spring semester.  If you are a 3rd-5th grade teacher, you are feeling the urgency (or should) to press on towards STAAR (or your own standardized test).  You've still got to input grades, run reports for your admin team on your student data, meet with families of students you are concerned about, plan with your team, plan for yourself, meet as a faculty for staff meetings, maybe even collect forms for various types of things like pictures, field trips, middle school registration, progress reports, and on and on like this.  So, then your admin team asks (strongly encourages) some on your team to step up and offer to tutor for an academic camp after school or on a Saturday, not just one time, but multiple times, and you are D-O-N-E.  I mean, ready to scream, walk out the door, throw your papers in the air, just DONE.  So, your admin team offers extra jeans day passes, special rewards like a duty (lunch or recess) coverage, or some other reward for you to do this.  

This is where my "Mentoring AP" steps in.  "Why should we offer a reward for something that is part of your job?"  To which I would say, "But they are tired, feeling overwhelmed, overworked, etc and need something to help."  To which she would reply, "But it's their job.  You get a paycheck, that's your something." And to be fair, at my campus, staff are paid for their extra time to tutor or come on Saturdays, so it's a "something" beyond their salary.

So tonight at dinner with my youngest and husband, we were seated next to a table that obviously had a firstborn toddler in a high chair.  The Mom, Dad, and Grandmother were hyper-focused on this child, getting them an uncooked tortilla (dough) to play with, wiping every mess up immediately, etc.  Then I hear the Mom ask the waitress for an ice cream and leans over to the toddler telling her how proud she was that she could sit still through dinner and earned a reward, the ice cream.  And that's when the light bulb went off for me.  I sat there mouth hanging for a couple of minutes and then leaned over to my husband, also a teacher, and said "Can you believe that?  That kid is getting rewarded for something that is expected...to sit still during dinner, and behave.  This isn't the FFPS league.  We shouldn't reward them for something that is their job?!"

See, I know it can be stressful and seem like the work is never ending and want to give up, because I've been there, and I'm sure I'll be there again.  But seriously, working a little harder, giving a little more, bumping up that urgency for our students sake should just be our job.  We shouldn't have to be rewarded or "strongly encouraged" to do this.  We should just do it for our student's sake.  They deserve our very best.  They deserve for us to give a little more to help them be successful.

So, though the job be daunting, we should WANT to do more, be more, help more, encourage more for our students, not just because it's our job, but because we want to, without reward or incentive. Those incentives can be nice, but we should just want to for our student's sake and for no other reason.

Anyways, that's my two cents...and I can say, "I get it finally."

Responsible Criticism

I know the title of this post might be an oxymoron, so let me explain.

Social media can be both good and bad, can both work in our favor and against us, so it's something to be used responsibly.  In the last month, I've had an issue come up with two separate business and when I couldn't find a resolution at the local store, I took to social media to see if something could be done.

The first incident occurred when a business wouldn't honor one of those peel off coupons on a product that I needed on an emergency basis for my home.  When I asked why, the sales clerk couldn't explain why, just reiterating that they didn't honor them.  Knowing that I HAD to have this product to fix something in my home, I just accepted it and went on to my van.  But as I sat in the parking lot, I got upset, not getting an explanation that seemed reasonable.  Seemed crazy to me, as literally every place honors those manufacturer's coupons stuck to products, so I took to the business' Facebook page to ask why they wouldn't honor a $0.65 coupon, snapping a picture of my receipt to prove my point.  Within a half hour or so, the manager replied telling me the cashier was new and didn't know their policy and requesting that I bring in my receipt so he could give me a full refund.  I, in turn, replied explaining that I only wanted my $0.65, stating that he needed to stay in business too.  When I returned to the store to get it all solved, he did indeed give me a full refund.

The second incident involved my van.  2012 model, 58,965 miles and the transmission goes out in the middle of Monday morning traffic.  Stranded, I called my insurance for a tow to my personal mechanic, who confirmed my suspicions by lunch time.  I then called the company to find out what my options were, and was able to get it towed to the nearest dealer for free and to be repaired for free.  But what happened at the dealer sent my blood pressure through the roof.  They couldn't accept my mechanic's findings, which I was OK with, but they also couldn't give me a replacement to drive until they could diagnose it, which turned out to take 6 days.  In the meantime, I had no family vehicle to drive and had to depend on extended family for a ride.  I was even insulted on one phone call to the service dept, telling me I needed to put myself in the company's shoes.  I took to Twitter to tweet how upset I was with the service directly to the corporation in Michigan.  Within an hour, I got a message back requesting more info to which I replied with all the info.  The end result, which is still not final yet, was that I got a replacement to drive, and the dealer service dept was shut down until they could clear out their back log of cars needing service.  A win-win in my book, hoping that others in my shoes wouldn't have to wait nearly a week, without a car to drive, for a problem covered under warranty to just be "looked at", not actually repaired yet.

After these two incidents and knowing that social media worked in my favor, it does make me think, what if it didn't?  What if my remarks led to someone losing their job, their livelihood for their family?  Would that be responsible criticism?  Now I know this post might not have an educational slant to it, but what if it did?  What if all we do at our schools is share criticism?  Without any solution in mind, just aimless criticism, complaining?  Is that helpful?  I think not.  We need to be responsible with our criticism.  To have a solution in mind, or to think of how it impacts others.  We need to be someone who energizes others to action, not drain them to empty.

Sensory Overload?

I've got self diagnosed sensory issues.  I'm not making light of folks who truly suffer from this, I've just noticed some things about myself as I'm getting older.  My husband tells me that I'm an 80 year old woman in a 39 year old body.  Noises really bother me and as with most things when tiredness creeps in, it gets worse.  So here's what happened this week...

In my new role this school year (Campus Testing Coordinator), I knew that busy times would happen, but I told myself that it was OK, because it was just seasonal.  Still true.  The difference between what I do now and being a classroom teacher, is that as a classroom teacher the busyness is same throughout the year.  It's steadily busy, almost no down time, so you don't notice those lulls in activity quite so much.  Teaching is running a marathon all the time, but you don't care because you see the students smiles, lights going off in their brains, and you know it's all worth it.

These past couple of weeks have been extremely busy, working till 7pm most nights preparing for the first round of STAAR, managing my daughter's choir concerts, family, church, and other school commitments, even on weekends.  No down time.  The noises began to get to me and I found myself seeking quiet times wherever I could get them, but as I got more and more tired, even the smallest of noises began to send me seeking relief inward, through sleep, but I just couldn't get enough.  Again, my husband jokes that I can sleep through anything.  I've slept through hurricanes, severe weather, even through plane rides missing the Aurora borealis as we flew into Alaska one time.  So imagine, if you will, a overworked, tired, mind won't stop person who hears the dishwasher running, the water flowing, the TV blasting the kids favorite show on Sprout, the refrigerator door opening and slamming, the child tapping their cup on the table over and over, the youngest chatting away about school and books, your oldest trying to relay information about choir practices/concerts, the D-Hall she got for tardies, the husband telling you about a night he needs to work late, the supplies he needs for his own class, the staff at school relaying information that is important to them about STAAR, asking questions, even the air conditioner sound in my van...after a while, I just want to put my fingers in my ears and make it stop.  You might be nodding your head about now, either knowing what I'm talking about or thinking "Seriously, get over it."  And if you are in the later category, you are not alone.  I've said that to people before, not understanding why they acted that way.

But here's what it did for my perspective...How many times do we miss those subtle clues about our own students?  How many times do our students try to tell us in body language, in facial expressions, in other non-verbal ways that they need a personal time-out for their own sanity?  Not because they are trying to be rude, defiant, or disrespectful, but so they can survive and regroup and move on.  I hope I take time, and I hope you take time to watch, observe, ask yourself (and myself) questions, and then think about ways we can provide what our students need.  Maybe they need a quiet island, maybe a space under your desk to regroup themselves.  Do we acknowledge that they need this or do we tell them to "get over it."  Just something to think about as we move further into testing season and into the spring long haul of the school year.

Lessons from my Beauties

I have 3 daughters, that I call Beauty #1, Beauty #2, and Beauty #3.  Respectively, they are 16, 11, and 5.  Each one is completely unique in all aspects and each one has taught me some important life lessons along our journey as parents that have carried over into my teaching career.

Beauty #1 is has seen me work hard, working a full time job, and having gone back to school full time at the same time.  She has taken this to heart and shows me every day how driven she is and rock steady she is in her life.  She reminds me a lot of myself at that time in my life, but as any parent would most likely say, she outdoes me and I'm proud of her for that.  She has taken a full course load at her high school, where almost every class is either dual credit or AP type for 2 years now.  She even went to summer school, earning more dual credit, when she could have rested all summer.  She's on track to graduate HS with nearly 1 year of college credit under her belt.  She is my reminder to never give up, to set goals, to work hard towards those goals, and to not let obstacles get you down.  She is the essence of the word perseverance.

Now, Beauty #2 is unique in the looks department with her crazy, long, unruly, naturally curly hair, that causes me much anguish, but causes her great pride.  She is my most disorganized child, but also my most creative.  She finds joy in being different and never takes others criticism personally, just telling me that they are just jealous that she has something unique that they wish they had.  Beauty #2 is also gifted in her education, but is a very well rounded child, who loves to read, sing, and cook.  She reminds me daily that it's ok to be different, for after all, how will you stand out in a crowd, if you aren't different.  She is the walking embodiment of unique.

Beauty #3 came along in our life when we thought we were done being blessed with children, and she is a joy in every sense of the word.  She loves, laughs, and plays with her whole being.  She is a total family girl, always asking to go to Grandma's and her favorite cousin's home.  She is an attached Mommy and Daddy's girl, our shadow.  Beauty #3 is a chatterbox, loving to talk about anything under the sun, play games, and just be together with those she loves.  She is my daily reminder that it's ok to have fun, to laugh, enjoy time with family, and to just be.

While Beauty #1, #2, and #3, all are my pride and joy, they have each taught me some important life lessons that I hope we can all teach to our students at school.  Work hard, never give up!  Embrace who you are, God gave you those gifts! And love, laugh, and enjoy now...the present is a special gift you can't get back!

Your Words, My Words

I recently had the opportunity to attend #EdCampNavasota, my first EdCamp.  Three days later and I'm still unpacking the things I experienced.  I imagined in my head this day filled with classes on specific sites, programs, products.  And while there was a little of that, there were more about pedagogy types of things, like building campus culture, blogging, social media in the classroom, and formative assessment that lead to some interesting conversations with no agenda with some folks that I have followed through Twitter for some time now.  What overarching theme came from those conversations was that "we", the collective educational "we" are in charge of telling our story, to make sure it's one that is positive for our students, families, communities, as well as staff.  Obviously, every event that happens within a school isn't positive, but it's our responsibility that when folks walk in and walk out of our campuses that they know some certainties.  They are valued, respected, cared for, kept safe, treated with dignity and integrity.  It's about relationships and making sure that we take care of those left in our charge...that they are better for having known us and having spent some time in our class/school/employ.

I could speak about the things we hear and see and experience from time to time and how they are not all positive, but I know, as well as any parent knows, that not every day is sunshine and roses.  But even when those days creep in and seem to overwhelm us, we must, let me just say it again, we MUST, still treat others with dignity, integrity, value, respect, safety, etc.  What I've come to learn is that the words we say out loud, become the words others hear inside themselves.

You see, when I complain about how I wish I were thinner, how I don't like some aspect of my body, my daughters are hearing this and learning to become critical of themselves as well, that there is something wrong with them.  A similar situation happens in schools, we complain about how the students won't line up, walk quietly somewhere, run around the room, and on and on.  But what needs to happen in both situations, is that there is some training, that needs to happen.  I need to retrain my brain that vegetables are what I need, they taste great, and the teacher needs to stop complaining and putting negativity into student's thoughts, and train with a calm demeanor what the expectations are, and know that a single training might not fix it all, just as a single healthy meal might not make me thin.

But the bottom line to all this, is that we need to be cautious of our words.  You see our spoken words are the words that others carry with them and hear inside them when we are gone.  I don't know about you, but I want to leave a positive legacy.

Say My Name

I am certain there lies in each of us a need to belong somewhere, anywhere.  That's why clubs, churches, gangs, etc exist, for people to belong.  No matter if you are a rule breaker, rule follower, or someone who lives on the edge, you still have this innate desire to belong somewhere, to fit in, to be known, to be valued.

As an educator, my FAVORITE part of any school day is arrival and dismissal.  It's also a busy, sometimes stressful time, but it gives opportunities like no other to welcome kiddos, to set them on a wonderful way to their day, and to send them home curious about what will happen tomorrow.  I serve at my school on car rider duty.  Each morning, I open doors, welcome students, say their names, smile at their parents, wish them a good day, and often times ask how they are doing, how their dance recital went, how that sports team they play on did, and to congratulate them on a new outfit or a haircut or a new tooth that fell out.  I know it sounds silly maybe to someone who is not in education, but those moments I wouldn't trade for any other part of my school day.  It's the same story in the afternoon, opening doors, making sure my little ones don't run in the street because they see their family in the school driveway, asking what they learned today, what was special about today.

To be able to welcome students by name gives an implication that I know them.  I've been around my school long enough to see families grow together, to know likes and dislikes, to know what class they are in, and to learn some things about them.

Recently, data has become a big deal, to know what percent of each subpop is passing, but my question to this data digging is always, "Do you know their names?  Can you tell me which kids are sitting in each subpop?"  It's nice to know numbers, but without names, it's useless data.  To know our students, we have to do some digging into their background, their history, to see where they came from the prior school year, and then to see them and know what motivates them, so I can move them forward.  Say their name.  Put a name to that numerical value.  Make them count for more than a number.  Everyone wants to belong, so let's make it happen.

Daily Education Concerts

My two older daughters are both involved in choir at their schools, middle school and high school respectively.  So, it should go without saying, much like athletics, that our lives revolve around their practice times, after school choir outings, and concerts.  And near the end of each semester there is usually a "look what we've learned" concert.  So, same venue, same auditorium, but different crowds...one a middle school choir crowd, the other a high school choir crowd.  Very different experiences.  High school crowd very respectful, phones on silent, folks waiting to enter or exit between songs, etc.  Middle school crowd just their for their own kid, lots of walking about, even got to overhear a few phone conversations around me in the crowd during performances.  

Last night, we got to enjoy a "professional" choir concert from two of the high schools in our district...the only two choirs invited to perform at TMEA (Texas Music Educators Association) in San Antonio next week...a HUGE honor.  Both high school choirs performed in a beautiful, cathedral type of church, with a packed audience, which included our district Superintendent, some other high level staff members from central office, along with a couple of school board members, and many middle school choirs in attendance to see what high school choir is all about, along with families.  

You know, in a concert, everyone has a part to play.  The director works tirelessly to assemble only the best singers, by audition.  Then places them into the sections they are best suited for: soprano, alto, tenor, and bass.  He/She then works with them individually, in sections, and in a whole group setting repeating songs and parts until it's a quality performance, providing feedback along the way, and infusing fun into all they do.  The director even enlists the help of outsiders, like accompanists, and dancers to help choreograph dances included in the performance for the choir.  And at both my daughter's choir concerts, the director is the one that tells the audience the criteria for participation...Turn your cell phones to silent or off, wait to exit or enter until between performance, wait to clap until my arms drop down, then you will know when the song is over, etc.  The choir members practice, repeating, reviewing, correcting, getting help when needed, and showing up day after day for their duties.  They even go out of their way to get together for social events to build their "team" or section up, so they are able to work in better harmony.  The parents and families have a duty to bring their children to these choir practices, outings, and performance, making sure they have all they need to be successful.  Parents ad families also have a duty to stand to the sidelines, or staying in their seats, creating a performance atmosphere worthy of attention for themselves and others.  

In the midst of waiting for the church doors to open last night, I was reading to catch up in my GT book study, How to Differentiate Instruction in Mixed-Ability Classrooms by Carol Ann Tomlinson and I came across this section:

"The Teacher as Director of the Orchestra.  This metaphor generates the image of a leader who knows the music intimately, can interpret it elegantly, can pull together a group of people who may not know each other well to achieve a common end, even though they all play different instruments.  There's a time in rehearsals for individual practice, a time for sectional practice, and a time for the whole group to work together.  There's a need to polish the performance of each individual musician so that the work of the whole is of quality.  In the end, each musician contributes to a meaningful performance and earns the applause (or scorn) of the audience.  The director of the orchestra helps musicians make music, but does not make the music himself."

And it got me thinking about how music groups, since that's what my life seems to revolve around lately, are a LOT like schools and education.  The director (Principal) needs to select, by audition (interviews, observations) world class members (Teachers) who will work well with their sections (Teams and Students) to create a world class performance for the audience (Students, Parents and Community).  It's the members (Teachers) job to create harmony within themselves, their section and group, and find personal enjoyment and fulfillment.  It's also their job to make sure that no one section overpowers another, so there is harmony.  And when that harmony doesn't come, a director may occasionally (rarely) step in to solve it, but harmony is created primarily by the singers.  It's also the directors job to set the expectations for participation, and hold the singers and audience to it.  I've watched the high school director stop a concert for a crying baby in the audience, just standing (not talking) center stage looking out at the audience until they "got a clue" and took the crying baby out of the auditorium.  We need more directors, performers, and audience members like all of these, willing to put forth best efforts, seek help when needed, and set the stage for some great performances, so our students can succeed.

It Makes my Heart Hurt

Today I got to experience the coordinator side of state testing in a full day of training, and I have to say it makes my heart hurt for our kids and teachers.

I always new that our state testing was serious business, and even joked many times that I was in the wrong profession given how much money our state spends on it to these private companies that write them, print them, distribute them, grade them, etc.  But today, wow...

It's my first year as a testing coordinator for my campus, so I've been in many trainings lately preparing for TELPAS, STAAR, STAAR Alt 2, and will continue to have trainings and dealings with these assessments as the springs goes on.

What makes my heart hurt is the knowledge that these systems, while they have their merits, cause so much undue stress on our students, teachers, and even administrators.  I am fortunate that in my district, testing hasn't been linked to your yearly appraisal and your pay is not tied to it, and as far as I can tell, we have leadership in place that have no plans to make this a reality, but there is a sort of unwritten code that if you can't cut the mustard in those testing grades, then you get moved somewhere else.  And let's not even start with the written codes that tell us we can't smile, give a pat on the back, talk to our students, sometimes not even be in the same room to support them while they take this high stakes, timed test each year.  It seems no matter how much we prepare our students that this is coming, reassure them to not worry, encourage them with pep rallies, songs, etc, you can still see the stress on them, like a backpack full of bricks they are carrying around.  And then let's add on the stress of SSI.  So now if you don't pass your tests in 5th or 8th grade, you have to attend remediation classes and take this again, or even go to summer school to try a 3rd time with the possibility of repeating your grade if you don't pass.  It just makes my heart hurt for our kiddos.

For our teachers who give to our students their best every day, work tirelessly before, during, and after school tutoring small groups, overcoming student apathy or learning issues to reach that high mark, only to receive results that are less than they expected.  It's crushing as a teacher.  It makes you wonder what else you could have possibly done to help more students be successful on that dreaded test.  It makes my heart hurt for them.

For our administrators who have to give an account to higher up folks of how they plan to fill in the gaps of certain groups of students, or for a certain subject, not really caring that there was a teacher on long term disability that year due to cancer, and a long term sub had to be brought in, or that a teacher resigned at mid year due to the amount of stress, or that you didn't have adequate funding to host enough after school tutoring.  They only care about the bottom line it seems, because their jobs depend on it too.  It makes my heart hurt for them too.

Now don't get me wrong, I think there should be some form of standardized test on a state level, not national like Common Core is doing, but state levels, but it shouldn't be done the way we currently have it on 1 day, in 4 hours or less, nor the old way of taking as long as you need where we would have kids staying after school, sometimes till 6, 7, or even 8 pm.  Neither of these is effective or an accurate measure.  I want someone with more skill, time, and talents than me to create a system that takes into account that child that started the year 3 years behind in reading, and now is only 1/2 a year behind, or the kid who improved in math from 20's to now 60's.  A system that is longitudinal in nature, and not a singular day.  A system that takes all aspects of a kid into account, not a number on a page on a single day, in a single setting.  It all just makes my heart hurt for our kids, our teachers, and our administrators, and I don't have a solid solution.

So What...

You'd think that in all my own blog posts that somewhere in my reflections, it would start to sink in for me personally, but alas, offenses still happen and I still get my feathers ruffled.

Without giving too many details {to protect the innocent}, I became offended recently by something that was said.  So, I had some choices to make.  Do I speak up to that person about it?  Do I just let it go?  Do I seek guidance from others?  What do I do?  The offense wasn't directed towards me personally, but spoke to my ethics.  And as I've said before on this blog, I am a very black and white kind of person, so it's either right or wrong, not a lot of  middle ground here.  What I did eventually do, was seek guidance, and both folks I spoke to asked the same question, "Did you speak to this person about what they said?"  And of course, my response was, "No, I don't feel like that's my place."  Maybe you are starting to see my own dilemma here.  I was the one offended, yet it wasn't my place to speak up?  I know, not sound logical thinking, but it's the place I was living in.  After prayer, and speaking to others, I did eventually talk to the person who made the remark that offended me and they were able to explain why they said what they did.  While I didn't agree with their thinking, we were at least able to talk face to face and get it out in the open and be honest about things, so in that regard it was a win win.

I find it funny, but not in a laughing kind of way, that my two older daughters have been living in a similar place recently as well.  My oldest beauty became offended by the pro life vs pro choice debate that a family member began on Facebook.  Not exactly the place to air ethical conversation, and not with a 16 year old who doesn't yet understand social media etiquette entirely yet.  She responded to said family member, who then in turn (even though they are much older and should have known better) responded back.  As my daughter is relaying this information and story to me, my thoughts ran towards the "No, no, no, no, stop" realm.  In our afternoon commute, we had the hard conversation about how you need to let it go, not respond, it will never end well, you will get angry, they will get angry, Facebook is not the place for this conversation, and on and on.  She wanted to "unfriend" this family member over this, and again we had that hard conversation that you can't "unfriend" a family member just because they offended you on a very deep level, and how it's best to just hide the post, and LET IT GO!  To which my other daughters and I break out into the Frozen song from the movie.

My middle beauty had a similar experience with a friend at school, 6th grade girls mind you, so that should really explain all you need to know.  And her initial reaction was to argue right back with the student.  

It makes me question my own reactions to offenses and what I'm showing my girls, because after all, our kids model what they learn and see.  So, when offenses happen, and they most certainly will continue to happen, it's choices we have {which I've posted about before, choices, choices, choices}.  Our attitude should be one of "So what" and move on from there.  But it should not be one of arguing, talking to others before talking to the offender like I did, or even "unfriending" family.  I got offended, so what.  The end.

Servant Leadership

I am a people watcher.  Always have been.  And recently, I've had the pleasure of watching my admin be servant leaders by serving breakfast to our staff, delivering water after a hot, outdoors pep rally, waiting to be last through a line to get something, etc.  It's made me take a look at what exactly a servant is versus a slave.  

I also have taken a couple of surveys to determine my own love language and to determine my giftings.  Neither were a surprise to me.  My dominant leaning for both came out to be service.  I am a practical, let's get things done kind of gal.  But, what I'm not, is a walk all over me and take advantage of me kind of person.  

So therein lies the distinction for me of servant vs slave.  Both place another person in a position of service, but one is by one's own will and another against someone's will.

You see, in watching and experiencing my leaders servant style, I've come to realize that we all, no matter our title or position, need to give a little more in this area (and I'm talking to myself too).  We are after all in the people business in education.  It's people that matter, not paperwork or programs, though those things are necessary.  It's people that drive what we do, so shouldn't we make them matter more?

My word of this school year has been MATTER, because it reminds me to make a daily choice about what matters.  If I decide and say that family matters, people matter, then I'm more likely to act in a manner that shows that.  It's a way of being held accountable to post it in a prominent location for all to see.  So, servant leadership shows people that they matter, that they are valued, and that I'm willing to put them before me.