Tough Love

Man, I'd love to say that every day is roses and sunshine.  And just live by my highlight reel that appears on Facebook, but today was rough.  Tough love has been tough.

It was our first day of youth sports with our littles.  It was a stressful situation for my two loves in foster and my own youngest daughter, as well as me.  I've never been a fan of chaos, the lights, sounds, all the motion.  Even when my husband and I got married, he told me from the get go, "Our home will be a home of peace."  And for 20 years it has for the most part.  I had my own daughter in tears as she tried to defend a boy in basketball that was much taller than her and his size scared her, along with the fact that the coaches are yelling directions to each kid in the young league, the buzzer is going off each 5-10 minutes for quarters or breaks to end.  Then, my youngest little love looking shell shocked that her moment to play Tiny Tots Basketball had arrived and was not frightened to even try to follow directions from a stranger, even when she had played basketball with my others already.  And my next to youngest little love looking every bit confused and not sure where to look or focus or what to do, generally overwhelmed but the whole experience.

So, after all that, I did manage to get some smiles from them as they got their end of games snacks.  Almost like it was a reward for enduring that hard exercise.  I can only hope that this dive into youth sports gets better.  The time factor was what always held us back with my older teens, but no choice when CPS is forcing your hand to involve them in something like this.

Naps, ahhhh, my moments of joy.  Got a long 4 hour nap in for them all after basketball.  Thank God!

To which we woke, made and ate dinner, then went to the park for some sunset playtime.  And then the chore of shopping with three kids under 7 years old and a teenager.  As tedious as grocery shopping can be, I actually enjoy the task of making the list, marking it out, and preparing the meal list each week.  It speaks to my organized side.  And I'm really good at saying, "No" at the stores to all demands and requests from my group.

It's the last hour of today that has sent me into Tough Love mode.  When I give in and buy the carrots and celery and ranch you ask for, and you eat much of it, and then choose to spit on another's snack, then get removed from the kitchen table without getting to finish your snack.  Or when I then tell you to help push the wet laundry into the dryer, that's all, and you stand there screaming and crying at the top of your lungs without stop.  And I escort you to your bed for the night, and then after 30 minutes of crying and screaming at the top of your lungs in your bed, to which I sincerely hope the neighbor's aren't playing in their pool, where her bedroom window faces, so they won't hear that I'm really not touching or hurting you, you try to come and give me a hug.  Tough Love sucks sometimes.  I can't reward you for misbehaving or screaming.  But I can't also reinforce some weird idea that your love can be earned, because I will love you through the misbehaviors and craziness that has been done to you by others. 

Add to all this, having a sick husband since Basketball this morning, who has slept for now 12 hours straight, minus the 10 minutes he came to the dinner table, looked at it and made himself a grilled cheese and went back to bed. 

I finally leaned against the kitchen sink in exasperation only to realize that both sides are overflowing in dirty dishes, even through the dishwasher is running.  And my teenager is busily creating a masterpiece cookie dough recipe with Christmas music playing.  It's in that moment that I see that I am blessed, even in the craziness.  I'm not perfect, and Thank God for that!  And even though I may look through other's highlight reels on social media, I know they too will have rowdy and disorderly days.

So, to today, I say "Not Today Satan", because I will still praise the Lord in my hot mess of a day.  And I will still apply tough love and love all my kids in all situations.  And forgive me if I sit at the kitchen table and listen to Christmas music in June in Houston, while I eat my slice of apple pie, Nutella cookie that my teen made, and sip on my glass of ice cold Coca-Cola.

My Teen Baker

Confessions of a Foster Mom

Confession #1: Being a foster parent is H-A-R-D.
I had a teacher on my team this year who knew she was moving and selling her home and she would talk about how she had to make sure her home was "model ready" before leaving for school each day because realtors or visitors may come to look.  And all I could think of, having never lived through that, is that's exactly how I feel.  Maybe your gifting is hospitality, and to some degree that's a teacher, has to be, like customer service.  But when those drop in visitors rub you the wrong way, over stay their welcome, put your character or decision making skills into questions routinely, or judge your cleanliness skills (like a light bulb being out and reporting it), you become less like this.  And they keep coming back into your home, your "peaceful place" and disrupting.  They come monthly, they text you, email you, call you, ask questions that you've already answered to another worker, and on and on.  I mean, seriously, can't they just read the monthly reports I legally have to file, or read the group text message chat where I sent them all the info already?  I think I know how to raise a child.  I have 3 of my own biologically.  But I've never had a child who has been hurt or been in trauma like these.  And I have zero experience with making a blended family work.  My better half and I are coming up on 20 years married.  It's a learning curve for sure.

The part that makes my heart hurt is the uncertainty and stress that is displayed in my littles when someone comes into our home monthly, 3 separate visits per month, in the crazy behavior where they run around, act silly and refuse to talk coherently, jump on and off furniture, roll around on the floors.  And when the visitor leaves, they are their normal, settled self again.  I know they don't do it on purpose, but man this is hard reassuring them, reminding them that no one will hurt them here, or that this visitor will not take them away.  Especially that last one, when I don't know for sure, as their case comes near to the end.  I, myself, feel in a state of uncertainty, because I'm "not a party to their case", so how can I reassure them constantly and not feel exhausted from this?

Being a foster parent feels like an invasive procedure, like when I had any of my 3 C-sections where everyone is looking at everything God gave you, and pulling everything apart in surgery to get to the beautiful baby within.  And that's why I have another confession.

Confession #2: Being a foster parent is W-O-R-T-H it.
I say this confession, not because I feel like it sometimes, but as a reminder to myself daily.  Loving someone is a daily choice, that can be easy or hard, but a choice nonetheless.  I've seen my littles come out of their protective shells.  Where once they were afraid of the dark, now are no longer.  Where once they would stiffen and "straight board" you when you had to pick them up to put them in their car seat or do this when unlocking their seat belt that was between their legs, now, not at all.  And when I told them to "Go play!" and they just stared at me like, "What do you want me to do?"  And now when I say that, they run, and play, and laugh, and scream.  That's why I say it's worth it.

Putting yourself and your family out there for strangers to repeatedly judge, critique, invade is something that will make you feel so many emotions, and sometimes within the span of a few minutes.  But while it is hard, it is worth it, if I remember who all this fuss is for.

Interrupting Normal

It's been quite some time since I last wrote a blog post and much has happened in that time.  We officially became a licensed foster home.  We have some littles in our home now.  Hurricane Harvey hit our city, and while we didn't sustain any damage or injury, many, many, many not even 3 miles from us lost everything.  And we have now had 2 snow days for the 2017-2018 school year, something unheard of in H-town.  And I've gone from a Math/Science teacher to just Science (and Writing, if that even counts as a stand alone subject).  Many changes!

You know, we get very comfortable in our routines and life.  There was a long stretch in my marriage, where my husband and I said, "Us four and no more."  And then God blessed us with Beauty #3, six years after Beauty #2.  And for the last seven years, it's been the Windham Five.

For years, my sister talked to us about the possibility of becoming a foster family, and it just didn't seem like a possibility for us financially.  Or at times, with my husband's diabetes, our life seemed unstable and didn't have a rhythm to it.  But, it was like God was speaking to me and saying, "If you wait for the timing to be perfect, then you never will foster or adopt.  There will never be a perfect time."  And God is always right and always right on time!  So, in April 2017, we started on that journey by submitting an application with a child placing agency, started taking the classes, submitting records, etc to get our home ready.  And in October 2017, we officially became a licensed foster home.  It was so exciting for our entire family!  Our kids would share the updates as we went through the process with their Youth pastors, Children's pastors, teachers, family, etc. 

I watched a video recently introducing families to foster care and it said that families usually get into this for 2 reasons: to have a family or to give a kid a family.  For us, it was always, and will always be, to give a kid a family.  I really think that even with all the ups and downs, I have an AMAZING family that any child in trauma could benefit from.  We went into this foster/adopt process looking for a child that needed a home for forever.  Looking for a child that already had parent rights terminated, but would also be a good fit for our family.

So many things that happen to kids, that are reasons they are in care usually, are not something we often think about.  For example, with our 7, 13, and 18 year old girls, a teen boy would not be wise, not any older child who had been sexually abused (as they could possibly act out that same abuse on others), nor kids younger than school age due to child care situations.  You just never think about these things until you are placed into those situations.  But we knew, as we waited, that there was someone that God had for us to love on and care for as a FAMILY.

Our littles came to us though an emergency need for movement and we were linked though Facebook.  A need was voiced, we were tagged in it.  But due to our bedroom situation and their genders, just didn't know if we could help.  A few days passed, many other people responded that they wished they could help, but couldn't, and after 3 days, my husband told me to find out the CPS workers info and see what we could do.  All that to say, that 4 days after we contacted her, they were in our home.  And they have interrupted our normal every day since.  They have shown me the depth of love my family has, and the need for love they have.  There's a saying for teachers that I've often heard, "Those who need love the most, will ask for it in the most unloving ways."  And it fits in their situation to some degree.  Due to their ages and closeness to my own kids, they aggravate each other, just because.  But they also, play and care for each other much too. 

I love how they have shown me things about our Lord through their situation, like how God will never leave or forsake us.  How even when we are so extremely frustrating to God, He doesn't give up!  I've learned that no matter how much I try to steer their case in the direction I want it go, I can't.  I have no control and that's the way God wants us, to leave all control to Him!  I have seen adults disappoint me, promises made and not kept, words used against me.  I've had to explain to doctors what was done to them and have had to explain to the dentist that the color of their teeth, which shows neglect, was not from me.  I've watched their little hearts be broken when visitation is over, and been there to change their clothes when they wet themselves in the dentist office when an overwhelming sedation with restraint happened.  I've held them through tears and been the tough love giver when a temper tantrum starts.  I've also seen the generosity and kindness of foster closets, complete strangers to us, and family helping with new beds, clothes, and mattresses.  This fostering journey has been nothing I've been prepared for, could even have planned for, or imagined.  And at times, when I hope for things to go my way with their case, I also feel guilty for wishing that because it means that their bio parents and family fail.  It's a constant pull on my emotions and heart and strength.  But, I wouldn't have done anything differently.  And no way, could we have said no to having them in our home when a plea was made and not filled. 

Bottom line is our normal has been interrupted because we said YES to what God dropped in my spirit last year.  While the road looks uncertain, unsure, or scary, saying YES to GOD will have an eternal impact.

Do More of What Makes You Happy

My brain is so scattered today.  When changes in my family are made, it seems like my husband and I do not make them in incremental steps like so many others, but do it with gusto and usually big life changes in a row.  For example, when we were first married, I graduated college, moved 3 hours away, and had our 1st child all within a 2 week span.  When we had our 2nd child, we moved out of an apartment and bought our home when she was 2 days old.  I can still remember my husband driving all over Houston to various title offices and notaries to get our papers signed by this person and that person.  And when we had our 3rd child, my husband left teaching after 4 years due to layoffs in his district, with no job in site, and due to an illness with no insurance was hospitalized with surgery 6 months later.  So, many changes in quick spans of time.  The rest of our 18 years of marriage have just been steady, anti-climatic, stable times.

And now here we are in another season of change.  Today, well a week ago now (because I typed this, then had to stop and reflect), after 11 years of children's ministry work at our church, we resigned.  It happens to come in a season as we finished our application and training for foster care and our oldest is preparing to head out on her own to college.  So, I see big life events happening all at once again.

As I heard a minister say recently, churches weren't meant to minister to the churched, but the unchurched, it's a statement that has stuck with me for a couple of reasons.  I agree and disagree with it.  Yes, churches, and I mean the people, not the physical building, are designed to minister to the unchurched to share Jesus with them.  But I also believe that they are meant to minister to the churched.  To help them grow in their faith, to live life with them through ups and downs.

Some people are good at expressing and asking for their needs from others, and there are some like me, who are not.  I wrote a blog post recently about Crying Over a Hot Dog, where I explained that there are many doers of the world who serve with no expectations of return.  But sometimes, those doers become so lonely, even in a crowd, and feel left out.  That's where we've been living for quite some time.  Lonely in the midst of service.  A churched family neglected, left out.  So it was time to make changes.

In a recent heated discussion with my husband, he finally exclaimed, "What do you want from me?", to which I replied, "I want my helper. To help me in this home." And to which he replied, "I want more joy in our home. Where did it go?" It made me stop in my tracks.  Where had the joy gone in our home? See, in the midst of doing, rushing here and there, working, serving our church, and feeling hurt, the joy had left.  And why would my husband be my helper in that sad place?  Being the great man that he is, he chose not to, and I don't fault him at all.  Why join someone in a place like that?  I wouldn't either.  So, a change was needed.

I didn't want a friend that would invite me over just to try to sell me something.  That's not friendship, that's business.  I want friends for my husband, children, and me who will do nothing but listen to us and talk with us and maybe play some games from time to time.  Friends who want nothing from you except you.  So, we made the change and are so happy we did.  It's not been an easy change, but is any change ever easy?  As a family, we've decided to do more of what makes us happy...focusing on our 1st ministry (our family) by not waiting on invitations from others, but doing things together as a family.  We've seen fireworks, played games, laughed more at silly Dad jokes, and been less concerned about how others perceive us.  We're not leaving our faith behind, just taking it with us to a new place, and for all these things and many more, we are blessed indeed!

Pic credit

Keys to the Adoption Water Truck

Ok, crazy title to say that "Momma said there'd be days {or weeks} like this."

So, it all started with a very persistent and passionate sister about a year ago that dropped this seed of an idea in our hearts and minds about the remote, crazy possibility of fostering to adopt.  With 3 daughters of our own and a very tight, middle class budget, it just didn't seem like a reality for our family.  And I'm still not sure how much of a reality it is.  But after much prayer, many family discussions, the girls weighing in, an online orientation with the Youth and Family Services we'd be going through, and an ugly prayer time at church with a friend, I feel this peace that passes all understanding that still brings tears to my eyes.  Yeah yeah, the waterworks again...I promise no hormone checking needed.

Last week, my middle one didn't give us the kind notice of water shut off that gets hung on your front door when you forget to pay.  So, Tuesday, we all get home very late, no water at home.  Husband inspects to find a padlock on our water meter from the kind folks at the water district {said sarcastically}.  Knowing that we'd be hit with a large fee to remove it, we chanced it and cut said lock, after paying bill in full online.

Roll into this week and I stayed late Monday to complete the foster to adopt application, all 18 pages of it.  If you've ever had a child, filling out this application is a lot like having a baby.  It's very invasive, asking all kinds of questions, as they should.  It will get looked over by many eyes, like in a delivery room, and a decision will be made at some point in time, to determine if we are a fit family.  Again, there's this peace about the whole situation, knowing that we are stepping out in faith, not knowing the end from the beginning, not knowing how it will all work out.  And if you know me at all, you know these kinds of unknowns scare the living daylights out of me, which is where the ugly prayer time at church came in.  It was that fear of the unknown that lead to the entire box of tissues being used.  Ok, not really the entire box, but close.  We all (all 5 of us) rolled into the driveway about 8:30 pm to discover again, no water.  Husband inspects, and this time, the water meter itself had been taken.  We call the after hours number and they tell us we can't fix anything till 8 am Tuesday (today).  Knowing that I had to be on a field trip with my students today, my husband had to take a day off to tackle this large project.  After meeting with the crooks, I mean water district, and paying the said fee, water is restored.  You can ask me in person for more details if you want them, but I'll leave it at that.

So Tuesday morning, I'm off to school and while looking for my wallet, I notice my husband's truck keys in my cup holder.  I flat out panicked, calling frantically to see if he had a back up set of keys at home, only to discover that the oldest had taken the back up set so she could get in the house and get dressed for work before any of us got home.  So at 7:35 am this morning, with more tears, realizing that I had to be on a yellow bus to a field trip in 1 hr and 10 minutes and knowing that it was a 1 hr and 30 min round trip back home, with much prayer and breaking all speed limits, I raced home to deliver the keys so he could take care of the water district problem.  After the water district issues had been resolved, my husband decided to get my oldest daughter's truck inspected, so she could drive herself to work and school finally and quit relying on her Grandma taxi service, only to have it fail.  Why you might ask?  The power steering hose was cracked and the ball joints on the front of the truck were destroyed.  To be expected of a 21 year old truck, but the timing was just not what I would have liked.  If you aren't knowledgeable like me in car speak, it basically means she could have been driving anywhere in the next month and the front tires would have literally fallen off and she would have had no steering to help.  Not a good situation and not a cheap fix, but necessary.

And in the middle of all this, the dishwasher went kaput, but Thank the Lord for a home warranty that is covering a brand new dishwasher, not just a piddly part, but a whole brand new one.

Bottom line is that since we had the adoption thing settled in our minds and hearts, all these aggravations have crept in.  And that's all they are, irritants to take that peace away, or to try to.  The beginning of this journey has been riddled with mishaps and extra expenses, but God...

God is stronger than all that and I know we're headed in the right direction as a family towards the plans God has for us.  Plans to bring hope and a future to a child in need.  Plans to bring love and restoration to a child.  Plans to show our own children what it means to sacrifice and what love in action looks like.  Living life with another in need.  

So the keys to the adoption water truck have been crazy and I know there will be days {or seasons} like this again, but I find myself walking in faith that God has got everything under control and knowing that He's there in good and trying times.

Pic Credit

Crying Over a Hot Dog

Today, I cried over a hot dog.  I'm just going to let that thought soak in for a minute.

I know that sounds strange, like maybe I should have my hormones checked or something, but it was what that hot dog represented.  Follow me for a minute if you will.

There are many, and I do mean millions, of people who are the "doers" of the world.  They get things done.  They make things happen.  They are your teachers, administrators, parents, pastors, first responders, etc.  Day in and day out, they SERVE.  And it's generally not because of the extraordinary pay they receive, it's because it's who they are.  It's what they were born to do.  It's the work ethic that was ingrained in them from very early on.  It's because they see a need and without being asked, step in to help, to lend a hand, to support in some way.  It's because they want to show love to others by their actions.  I could go on but I think you get the point.

For me, I am a full time teacher, full time Mom, full time wife, full time leader in Children's Ministry.  I am always ON.  There isn't a moment that someone or something doesn't demand my attention.  Always ON.  My days don't belong to me, they belong to those that are placed in my care, who I've been blessed with.  But those blessings, can become draining sometimes, and sometimes those leaders, those servants, just need to be served, with no ulterior motives, no mention of a donation or payment, for nothing in return.  So, today I cried over that hot dog as I took my youngest beauty to an egg hunt that another church was having.  I was being served just because someone wanted to show love to others and asked nothing in return.  I cried because of their generosity, because of the time and effort, and yes finances that they used to serve others.  And because I was on the receiving end of that.  It's a rare event for me to be on that served side of the table and not on the servant side.  I'm not complaining by any means, but WOW, how many leaders need to just be served from time to time too?  For me, my love language is through Acts of Service.  I know this about myself, so when someone serves me without being asked or without asking for something in return, WOW!  I'm blown away.  That's what that hot dog was to me today, so I cried.  You can laugh at me if you want, I know it's a lot silly to cry over a hot dog, but maybe we should stop and think about our leaders.  I would venture to say that the majority of them are loved through Acts of Service, because that's why they are leaders, they serve others.  But how nice would it be to serve them?

This semester has been a hard one for me.  Many challenges, not even worth dwelling on, but for those challenges, I say this: I wouldn't be attacked it God didn't have something great in store or if He wasn't already using me to His Glory.  I truly believe that teaching is my calling in life.  That I've been placed there to make a difference in my student's lives and to reassure my families who are worried about their child's academics and entering middle school.  But golly gee, if it isn't also the hardest thing in life too.  As a teacher, or parent, or really anyone in a leadership position, you have to absorb so much negativity from others with a smile on your face and reassuring and calming words from your lips, while some ugly thoughts run through your brain.  So, how can you serve a leader today?  How can you lighten their load?  How can you reassure your leaders that God has placed in your life?  For some, just a kind word will go a long way.  For others, solving your own problems is a blessing.  (At least to me with my teen daughters.)  And yet for others, acts of service may be just what they need.  Picking up trash, doing their dishes, collecting supplies after an event, etc.

So, as a leader myself, I am challenged by that hot dog to serve my leaders too and not only those left in my care.  I hope you have a blessed day!

Can Quiet and Fun Co-Exist?

I've noticed something about myself here lately over this fall semester.  The loud noises really get to me.  Since I've been married, my husband has told me that I'm an old lady when it comes to sounds.  I don't like the radio very loud, don't enjoy noisy restaurants, jump at sudden sounds, etc.

At our school December staff meeting, we played this fun game of pictionary where teams had to draw to help others guess the name of the Christmas carol.  Very fun, but competitive, and when another staff member walked up behind me and shouted, "Go team!", I about came out of my skin and moved away.

Another example of this was made clear to me when my Mom visited for Christmas and was telling me about an extended family member who has PTSD.  And knowing that this family member was only 12 years old, I asked my Mom how this was possible, since it's usually associated with military members.  She explained that the Mom of this child is half deaf and deals in shouting only.  This child has learned to cope with this by ignoring the Mom until it's full blown shouting and anger for him not listening, which then makes him jumpy and he acts out.

I have some family members myself who are just naturally loud, as am I from time to time.  In fact before the break, I had to apologize to a student because they thought I was picking on them.  And we discovered it's just because I'm loud.  Mind you, to me, it's my normal speaking voice, but to this child, it was loud enough to stress them out and scare them.  So all this got me thinking, are there other students we interact with who have noise issues too, maybe not as severe or noticeable, but could we speak softly and still get our point across?  Volume does not equal compliance.  In some cases, ok, many, volume equals stress, anxiety, discouragement, anger, chaos, etc, even if the message is a positive one.

Now, I can hear the thoughts now, but quiet places are boring places.  But do they have to be?  Is it possible to have a quiet (not silent), fun, engaging classroom for all our student's to thrive in?  I say yes!  Now, I can't answer that how for anyone, only myself.  It's all about finding what works and running with that.  So, just some things I've noticed lately that I know will carry into this new semester with me as we run the race of teaching.

The Wife, Mom, Teacher Inside Me

It's October...pumpkins, slightly cooler temps (well, 90's instead of 100's in Texas), festivals, and family time.  But for me, it's that last part, family time, that has me thinking today.

I knew stepping back into the classroom after 5 years out would be work.  I'm not one to stray away from hard work or long hours, I mean I worked on my Master's degree while having the most busy, stressful role I've had in all my professional education years yet, while my husband traveled for his profession and still managed our home and family events with 3 daughters, one that was only a year old then.  So, no stranger to hard work, but for some reason finding that balance hasn't been so easy this school year so far.

If you're not familiar with education, let me see if I can paint a verbal picture you can imagine.  The teacher has countless meetings during their "planning period" each day that include content planning with their team, IEP meetings for special education students, parent meetings by phone, email, and in person for families to stay up with their child's learning, along with actual teaching, managing resources, time, behaviors, temperaments, in some cases changing hormones of kids, personalities and conflicts, as well as, other staff to handle situations with.  It's very much like looking at your computer suddenly and realizing that you have 90 tabs open in your internet browser and all of them are important.  I saw a student this past week on the ground building a sandcastle in the middle of the soccer field, while about thirty other boys were running around them playing soccer dodging them and I said to myself, "That's how I feel right now."

My youngest daughter is six years old and for the first time ever in my kid's schooling, we made a change to accommodate me, so that I could work closer to home.  The last thirteen years I was at the same school, so my oldest and middle one had a very stable schooling environment.  My youngest has been telling me that she hates school and as I listen to her and try to figure out why, because she has the sweetest teacher I could ever imagine, I began to understand that she is saying this because of the workload that I carry that takes time away from her.  She's begging for my attention, along with my other two daughters and husband.  See the location hasn't changed my work ethic.  I still work hard, long hours trying to be excellent at everything I put my hand to.  I'm a perfectionist in some areas of my life, and that involves my work.  But in that perfectionism, I'm leaving the most important people behind to do tasks and it's driving me crazy.  See the reason I love education so much, is that it's a people business, not a task business and as an educator, we can get so caught up in the task of teaching, the task of planning, the task of meetings, etc, that we forget about the people involved and our own families.

So while I will follow this:

I also need to remember these people:

So, this October, I'm learning to balance.  You'd think that after 18 years I'd have learned this by now, but each new year presents its own challenges and learning happens all over again.  I hope you get to enjoy some family time as well!

Calling on the Fat Guy

Teaching runs in my extended family.  My mother in law was a Bilingual Teacher for tons of years before she retired about 10 years back.  I've been teaching now 18 years too, and my husband is in his 7th year teaching.  So, I've often heard it said from those that are more seasoned, "Don't let them see you smile till Thanksgiving." So in my mind, they were saying, "Be stern, don't let up till then."  But I always had a problem with that.  See, we don't learn from those people who we don't like.  I found this true with my own self in college, and again with my own children.  If we don't like that teacher, if they are rude, disrespectful, always complaining, never have a kind word, then forget it.  I'll never be able to do anything right or worthy of praise, so forget it.  And we mentally check out and just try to either survive that class and "make it through" or end up dropping it altogether to take something else from someone else.

This past week at school (I teach 5th Gr Math/Science, so that should explain a lot.), we began diving into harder concepts, power of 10 in Math, and actual labs where they had to think, plan, write, discuss, not just fill out a worksheet and circle C.  That's not so easy for kids period.  To ask a 10 year old to explain WHY is like looking at a deer in the headlights.  They automatically assume they are wrong just because I said, "Why?"  And I'm trying to get them to understand that they might be right, but I need them to verbalize why they think the way they do.  It's problem solving and communication skills at its most basic level.  

Well, this week, in reviewing some power of 10 Math concepts, I began asking questions, and ended up with the same 2 or 3 students answering over and over, and eventually, I had to say, "Sorry, not {Student A}.  Not {Student B}", etc.  Well, one of my boys, who is very animated, got frustrated with me because I wouldn't call on him after he had answered several other times, and I paused to see who else could answer.  And that's when he blurted out, "Awww, come on Mrs. Windham, call on the fat guy."  To which, my entire class, student teacher included, burst into laughter.  And he then said, "Well, I like to eat, what?" thinking maybe we were laughing at him.  To which, I responded, "That's ok, I like to eat too!" (because both him and I are built the same).  And he began laughing too.

It was one of those moments that we will all remember, even at the end of their 5th grade journey.  But it simply reminded me, that these are 10 year olds and they will never learn anything I need them to learn if they don't feel like I like them.  

You see, it's the same kid who had a challenging year last year, that I'm determined to make into a successful 5th grader this year, because he will know that I like him as a person first...he's SOMEBODY (our word of the year).  Yes, I as the teacher, may feel like the Ringmaster at a circus some days, but as my student teacher noted last week, "Mrs. Windham, I think they respond to you because you're just a great teacher." To which I replied, "No, it's just that teaching is part teaching and part theater."  I have to interject moments into our day, that will focus my unfocused, corral my monkeys, and interest my uninterested.  So, if I stop and dab in class, but call it the wrong dance name, I know my students will correct me, laugh at my mistake, and we will move on to more learning.  They know I'm trying to be active in their generation, but they also already know, even though it's only been two weeks, that first I care, and second, that I expect and demand greatness.  And demanding doesn't mean forcing, it means, we're a class of learners, so I expect that we work together, we clean together, we walk quietly together, we honor other classes learning time together, and we laugh together.  We will have fun, we will make messes, but we will all be successful, because I choose to call on the fat guy.

Hope you have a blessed school year as I'm having!

The Great Equalizer

It's that time of year again, preparations for a successful start of school.  I've already been up at my campus getting ready, have helped my husband get his class ready, and will go back full time tomorrow for 2 weeks of staff development.  And I've unfortunately, already seen plenty of memes and bingo cards for educators to use in faculty meetings that are negative.  So sad.  I've also been thinking about what I want to say in my very first #WindhamWeekly address to my families and students to set us on a path of encouragement and inspiration.  So many words and thoughts are swimming in my head and my goal is to not go over 5 minutes any week, so I've got to narrow it down to what is the most important things I want to convey...what is so critical that it has to be recorded so it can be referenced later.  And it got me thinking about my own non-negotiables for my family, my church, and my class.  Three things stuck out to me: Time, Kindness, and Honesty.  

TIME

I value time.  To me, it is the GREAT EQUALIZER.  Each one of us has the same number of minutes in each day...though none of us knows how many days we are given.  Kind of a chilling and sobering thought.  But what it means to me, is that every minute of each day is something I can't get back, so I want to use it wisely, put value into it, by strengthening others, encouraging others, doing all I can with my family, loved ones, etc.  It's people that make this world a special place, not projects.  I've talked about this in a previous post.

KINDNESS

The next item is kindness.  Some folks say respect.  So similar, but really not.  See respect means keeping those ugly thoughts in my head and not saying them, but treating you kind (outward actions only).  Kindness means that even my very thoughts are full of positive things towards you (inward and outward actions).  I want my own children and my students to use kindness in all they do, but this is something that has to be modeled.  How to handle tricky situations, people that annoy you, what to do when a crisis or tragedy finds us, etc.  If I can get my students to that place of kindness, then time is saved in having to deal with hurt feelings and behavior situations that require interventions.

HONESTY

The last non-negotiable for me is honesty.  We all make mistakes.  Even as an adult, I still make mistakes.  I just had to apologize to my oldest daughter this morning for yelling at her on the way to church.  I yelled because she didn't stop at a red light and nearly hit another car.  When we are dishonest, time is taken away to investigate, soothe feelings, fix broken things, etc.  I always tell my own girls and my students, just tell the truth.  If you messed up, admit it, let's fix it, learn from it, and move on.  Let's not dwell on the mistake, and let's not try to hide it.  You will get in twice as much trouble if you lie about something because you made the mistake and then covered it up.  Just be honest.

So, really kindness and honesty both go back to time as well, the GREAT EQUALIZER.  And that's the most critical thing I can convey to my families and students {and all those educators sitting through meetings} as we set out on a wild ride through the last year of elementary together.  I pray that this year is full of great memories both for my family and my students, and I pray that they value time, and they know I'm fully behind them and want only the best for them.  I pray that it's a blessed year for you as well.

School Supplies, Really?

I am a family of five.  Both my husband and I are teachers in neighboring school districts, as well as serving as volunteer Children's Pastors at our small church.  In a gist, our entire lives revolve around kids.  And I'd have it no other way.  I know that this is an area that God has called us to be in...serving kids and families.

But I have to say that around this time of the year that school supplies seem to get a bad rap.  For quite a few years, we've hosted a school supply drive at our local church for families who couldn't afford them.  For a while there, my family was one who even benefited from them as my husband was between work for a summer or two.  And what I'm about to say does in no way mean that I refuse to help others or donate to those in need.  But I think this summer my NO button is getting a work out.  

You see, I've watched a few families get help from schools or other organizations only to turn around and use the help for themselves (adults) instead of their kiddos.  Now before you get all upset, I know I shouldn't base what I do on the actions of others...it's like when I see a person on the side of the road holding a sign asking for money, I have no second thoughts to donate to them (if I have it then), knowing that what they do with it is between them and God, but in the area of supplies, I don't know, just no.  Plus, now that my husband and I are both school teachers, I find that in this season of the year, we spend a great deal on school supplies for our classrooms, our own students, and our own children, now that all 3 are in school.  I'm not unwilling to help a family I personally know and are truly in need, I just feel compelled to not give to large supply drives since I wonder if the things actually make it into the hands that need them.  And in working in Title I schools, both my husband and I have experienced the funds and things available for families in these income situations, so I don't feel bad saying no this summer.

Teachers are the only folks I know who routinely spend money on families and students that aren't part of their own family or church.  And this summer when I spend, and I will, I want to know who is benefiting and see the impact it makes daily, instead of a detached gift.  Maybe you don't agree, and that's ok, but that's where I am this summer.  Looking forward to a new start this school year!

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Find Your Laughter Y'all

I know nationally, Teacher Appreciation Week, is early in May...but at my campus we delayed it so that all could enjoy it to its fullest, given that state testing was still going on and end of year appraisals were happening with administrators and staff.  We did in fact enjoy a week full of treats, catered lunches, special dress days, etc.  The fun has spilled over into this week as well.  Today, our staff enjoyed "Disney Dress Up Day" with their teams and the smiles and laughter were contagious, among our staff and students.  Y'all we've got to find our laughter!  You know, well if you don't you are living in a hole, that the Chewbacca Mom (Candace Payne) video went viral, not because of the mask or the sounds, but because of her infectious laughter!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, teaching and public education, are THE hardest jobs on this planet.  We are modern day missionaries with our hands tied behind our backs so many times.  So why on this Earth would we involve ourselves, or allow others to, trash talk us, gossip about others on campus, or just generally spread their negativity.  We've got to find our laughter and spread our joy with others!  We just have to!

You see if we, the staff, don't enjoy school and are negative all the time, will our students enjoy school?  Will they love school?  Will they run to your class everyday to find out "what's next"?  Will they be upset to miss our class?  Will they laugh in our class today?  

Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."  Will you help be good medicine today?  I know I will...this life is too short to be anything but happy and help others find their joy and laughter.  If you're in a spot where you can't find your laughter and joy, it's time to make some changes...maybe in yourself, but maybe outside yourself.  Find your laughter today!  The world needs more of it!

Need some inspiration?  Check out this article I found through Twitter. "101 Ways for Teachers to be More Creative"

Need some smiles?  Then hop on over to my Twitter page or click here to see some of our teams in their #DisneyDressUpDay outfits.

Me or We?

Since I've been so excited about going back to the class, my creative brain has been working overtime.  Pinterest has been my friend, Amazon wishlists, and Google searches.  I'm very interested in flexible seating arrangements, class jobs, and ways to organize minimally, along with all my techie things.  And I'm excited about the possibilities.  However, what I've noticed is that me has entered into my thoughts more than we.  See if this sounds familiar: "Boy, I wish I had this for my class." "Man this would be so cool in my class." "Wow, that's an amazing way to set up my class."  See it's all me, me, me thoughts.  And I'm finding that I have to remind myself that there's a we involved.  All the ideas I've found and really would like to have, have to work for the we, our students.  After all, schools are for students, not so adults can have jobs.  It's a quote I found from kidsdeserveit.com and I love it!  

So, yes, some of the things I want, serve a selfish purpose, to help me be a better teacher, but I have to keep in mind that the majority of the things and ideas I find need to help the we.  Seating to help my struggling learners, my wiggly kiddos, to inspire creativity in my students.  Class jobs to create a community in our class, to give students value and affirm their opinions and decisions.  Organization systems that help me stay on top of things for families, students become better learners and be able to access learning quicker with safety in mind when moving about.  And techie things, well that's a duh.  Love technology, but not just technology for technology sake.  Technology to help develop creators, innovators, and problem solvers.

Just a reflection from my searches lately...I hope you and I both keep this in mind as we close out our school year.  Even with the 6 days left in my district, we still have opportunities to impact students {and staff} positively and send them into summer excited to try something new, excited about school, and with goals to work towards. Yes, goals, even through the summer.  My mantra...I seriously love learning!  We need every opportunity to instill this love of learning into our students.  Let's not waste a single minute.

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All At Once

I experienced something today that made me wonder if that wasn't how our students feel sometimes...overwhelmed, like there was too much to be fixed to become successful.

My van, which I talked about in a previous post, gave me more problems last night into this morning.  It wouldn't start when I got ready to head home yesterday.  Had to have it jumped by family.  No, I didn't leave the lights on or anything like that, I checked.  But when I arrived home last night, I put it on the electric battery charger that we own.  Let it charge all night, green light this morning, but when I cranked it up, nothing but clicks.  So frustrating.  Then, I got to drive our most reliable, yet oldest (20 years old) truck cramming me and two of my daughters in with me, listening to them complain the whole time about not having enough room, having to deal with no radio, with me putting their backpacks in the bed of the truck, and on and on.  Then, my oldest (a junior in HS), telling me about the fees she needs for Senior Year, and how they are due before end of May, knowing that we just shelled out a pretty penny for her letter jacket last week, and knowing that I would have to replace a van battery at some point, and knowing that my oil change light keeps coming on, with an empty gas tank, and needing an inspection and registration update on my van.  And when I finally made it to school, late of course, I had left myself a big pile of copying to do, paperwork to file, and a long to do list.  It was all at once, overwhelming.  And it got me thinking about our students, and talking to myself-no I'm not crazy, but I do believe that what we deal with is 90% in our head and 10% reality.  So, I'm telling myself, "Breathe, Windham, Breathe!" and "It's not the end of the world."

And what I thought about our students, was, I wonder if they ever feel this way?  Do we, as teachers, give them all their things that they need to work on, skills they struggle with, hurdles they need to learn to deal with behaviorally, all at once?  Or do we help them identify the one to two critical things to focus on, improve upon, and show them how to get better before moving on?  I know I've been guilty of laying it all out for them.  Wanting to be honest with them and put all the "cards on the table" so to speak.  But is this really the best way?  I'm not proposing lying or hiding things from our students, but do we help them focus on only a couple of areas at a time, and rank it for them so they know what is the most critical?  You see, knowing I need an oil change, inspection, registration, and new battery, upon all the other Senior Daughter fees, I had to prioritize and pay, albeit begrudgingly, the $165 for a new battery for my van, but it was critical.  Do we help our students learn to prioritize and focus or do we overwhelm them with too much all at once?

Just some perspective for me.  Thought I would share.

Back to the Classroom!

I'm thrilled, over the moon excited, to be saying, "I'm going back to the classroom next year!!"  And I've gotten mixed responses from others when I say this too.

I will be teaching 5th gr Math/Science next school year at a new school (well, not so new, but new to me).

For someone who has been out of the classroom five years now, it's often hard for others to really understand the thought process of wanting to go back to the classroom.  The very phrase, seems like you're taking steps backward in your educational career, but for me it's invigorating to say the least.  I will get to enjoy the most important thing about any school-the students.  I will get to do things that I've been teaching others to do.  I will get to be more self directed and less state directed, at least coming from a Testing Coordinator role to a Teacher.  Ahhhh--Teacher--The most important job on this planet!  I will get to dive in with Google Classroom with the older kiddos with all the learning I've done this school year.  I will get to do experiments, spark imagination, bring structure to chaos, communicate with families in new ways, motivate the unmotivated, and help struggling students set goals and celebrate their growth!  And I will get to use my creativity with  my content and teams of other professionals, and leave the desk and paper trail that seems to be ever present currently, behind.  So, no, I'm not upset to be going back to the classroom, I've thrilled, elated, energized, and already working on beginning of the year plans...I can't wait!

These past five years have helped me to grow like no other.  I've learned how to work with adults and all the different personalities.  I was inspired and encouraged to complete my Master's degree, which started me on my technology journey.  See, believe it or not, technology was my weakness in many surveys during that program, so I was forced to face my weakness and develop perseverance, grit, and more determination and resilience that I ever thought possible and learn, experiment, fail, and try again.  I've had the opportunity to face hard folks, hard conversations, and develop braveness and a thick skin and have learned not to take things personally, and to see what lies under the outer words, what drives them.  I've had so many opportunities to observe other master teachers in action, to learn from the best.  I've seen and experienced testing from the other side of the table.  And I've experienced a "catch-all" specialist role.  All of these experiences have made me more understanding and patient.  And all of these years have made me better and I can't wait to share a better me with some students and families this upcoming school year!  Bring it on!!! 

Is it an emergency?

Do you ever find yourself saying this?

Is it an emergency?

More and more I find that I do. It's not because I don't want to help someone, quite the opposite.  It frustrates me to no end to ask someone else to wait or send me an email about something that is an emergency in their world because I'm dealing with them in my own.

Remember, this position I'm in this school year is one that is brand new to my campus, never been done before. And for that fact, there isn't an official, written job description to follow.  It's up to my Principal, District Testing Coordinator, and my own self-starting self to figure things out.  So, we've already been through our first round of STAAR.  But now, we are one school week out from the biggest, busiest week of the year for any Elementary Testing Coordinator and I find myself more and more asking folks that saying, "Is it an emergency?" I want to help you with your laptop that is broken, or to help you load a network printer, or help you with some other technology concern, since technology is my passion, but it's not my primary role.  Testing is.  And so I must prioritize things, events, even family functions and trips to the grocery store around preparations for this BIG week.   Schedules must be written out, rosters checked twice (like Santa), new students investigated to determine services, teachers trained, walls and halls checked, numbered booklets and scans inventoried and accounted for, pencils sharpened, papers copied, folders organized, and on and on.  And I can tell that others are not used to me saying that phrase, because I get the looks, not in a bad way, just in a "Oh, you've never said that before" kind of way.  I am eager to help, but now I must prioritize.  

Every role we serve in, from parent to educator to administrator, comes with priorities.  It's up to us in each role to figure out what's important.  And I will say that those important things shift seasonally, but one thing that will always be important is people.  So, I must temper myself when I say that dreaded phrase and phrase it in a respectful, caring way, so that I don't sever those relationships.

So, that's what I'm working on lately, prioritizing, and still being respectful. What are you working on?

I Get It {Finally}!

I've never professed to be a quick wit...always having a witty reply a day or so later.  But tonight at dinner, out at a crowded restaurant with my family, I finally got something my "Mentoring AP" has been saying for some time.

See, when the going gets tense, stressful, or may seem overwhelming, our admin tend to offer rewards for staff to jump in and do a little extra.  

Let me give you an example.  It's mid spring semester.  If you are a 3rd-5th grade teacher, you are feeling the urgency (or should) to press on towards STAAR (or your own standardized test).  You've still got to input grades, run reports for your admin team on your student data, meet with families of students you are concerned about, plan with your team, plan for yourself, meet as a faculty for staff meetings, maybe even collect forms for various types of things like pictures, field trips, middle school registration, progress reports, and on and on like this.  So, then your admin team asks (strongly encourages) some on your team to step up and offer to tutor for an academic camp after school or on a Saturday, not just one time, but multiple times, and you are D-O-N-E.  I mean, ready to scream, walk out the door, throw your papers in the air, just DONE.  So, your admin team offers extra jeans day passes, special rewards like a duty (lunch or recess) coverage, or some other reward for you to do this.  

This is where my "Mentoring AP" steps in.  "Why should we offer a reward for something that is part of your job?"  To which I would say, "But they are tired, feeling overwhelmed, overworked, etc and need something to help."  To which she would reply, "But it's their job.  You get a paycheck, that's your something." And to be fair, at my campus, staff are paid for their extra time to tutor or come on Saturdays, so it's a "something" beyond their salary.

So tonight at dinner with my youngest and husband, we were seated next to a table that obviously had a firstborn toddler in a high chair.  The Mom, Dad, and Grandmother were hyper-focused on this child, getting them an uncooked tortilla (dough) to play with, wiping every mess up immediately, etc.  Then I hear the Mom ask the waitress for an ice cream and leans over to the toddler telling her how proud she was that she could sit still through dinner and earned a reward, the ice cream.  And that's when the light bulb went off for me.  I sat there mouth hanging for a couple of minutes and then leaned over to my husband, also a teacher, and said "Can you believe that?  That kid is getting rewarded for something that is expected...to sit still during dinner, and behave.  This isn't the FFPS league.  We shouldn't reward them for something that is their job?!"

See, I know it can be stressful and seem like the work is never ending and want to give up, because I've been there, and I'm sure I'll be there again.  But seriously, working a little harder, giving a little more, bumping up that urgency for our students sake should just be our job.  We shouldn't have to be rewarded or "strongly encouraged" to do this.  We should just do it for our student's sake.  They deserve our very best.  They deserve for us to give a little more to help them be successful.

So, though the job be daunting, we should WANT to do more, be more, help more, encourage more for our students, not just because it's our job, but because we want to, without reward or incentive. Those incentives can be nice, but we should just want to for our student's sake and for no other reason.

Anyways, that's my two cents...and I can say, "I get it finally."

Responsible Criticism

I know the title of this post might be an oxymoron, so let me explain.

Social media can be both good and bad, can both work in our favor and against us, so it's something to be used responsibly.  In the last month, I've had an issue come up with two separate business and when I couldn't find a resolution at the local store, I took to social media to see if something could be done.

The first incident occurred when a business wouldn't honor one of those peel off coupons on a product that I needed on an emergency basis for my home.  When I asked why, the sales clerk couldn't explain why, just reiterating that they didn't honor them.  Knowing that I HAD to have this product to fix something in my home, I just accepted it and went on to my van.  But as I sat in the parking lot, I got upset, not getting an explanation that seemed reasonable.  Seemed crazy to me, as literally every place honors those manufacturer's coupons stuck to products, so I took to the business' Facebook page to ask why they wouldn't honor a $0.65 coupon, snapping a picture of my receipt to prove my point.  Within a half hour or so, the manager replied telling me the cashier was new and didn't know their policy and requesting that I bring in my receipt so he could give me a full refund.  I, in turn, replied explaining that I only wanted my $0.65, stating that he needed to stay in business too.  When I returned to the store to get it all solved, he did indeed give me a full refund.

The second incident involved my van.  2012 model, 58,965 miles and the transmission goes out in the middle of Monday morning traffic.  Stranded, I called my insurance for a tow to my personal mechanic, who confirmed my suspicions by lunch time.  I then called the company to find out what my options were, and was able to get it towed to the nearest dealer for free and to be repaired for free.  But what happened at the dealer sent my blood pressure through the roof.  They couldn't accept my mechanic's findings, which I was OK with, but they also couldn't give me a replacement to drive until they could diagnose it, which turned out to take 6 days.  In the meantime, I had no family vehicle to drive and had to depend on extended family for a ride.  I was even insulted on one phone call to the service dept, telling me I needed to put myself in the company's shoes.  I took to Twitter to tweet how upset I was with the service directly to the corporation in Michigan.  Within an hour, I got a message back requesting more info to which I replied with all the info.  The end result, which is still not final yet, was that I got a replacement to drive, and the dealer service dept was shut down until they could clear out their back log of cars needing service.  A win-win in my book, hoping that others in my shoes wouldn't have to wait nearly a week, without a car to drive, for a problem covered under warranty to just be "looked at", not actually repaired yet.

After these two incidents and knowing that social media worked in my favor, it does make me think, what if it didn't?  What if my remarks led to someone losing their job, their livelihood for their family?  Would that be responsible criticism?  Now I know this post might not have an educational slant to it, but what if it did?  What if all we do at our schools is share criticism?  Without any solution in mind, just aimless criticism, complaining?  Is that helpful?  I think not.  We need to be responsible with our criticism.  To have a solution in mind, or to think of how it impacts others.  We need to be someone who energizes others to action, not drain them to empty.

Sensory Overload?

I've got self diagnosed sensory issues.  I'm not making light of folks who truly suffer from this, I've just noticed some things about myself as I'm getting older.  My husband tells me that I'm an 80 year old woman in a 39 year old body.  Noises really bother me and as with most things when tiredness creeps in, it gets worse.  So here's what happened this week...

In my new role this school year (Campus Testing Coordinator), I knew that busy times would happen, but I told myself that it was OK, because it was just seasonal.  Still true.  The difference between what I do now and being a classroom teacher, is that as a classroom teacher the busyness is same throughout the year.  It's steadily busy, almost no down time, so you don't notice those lulls in activity quite so much.  Teaching is running a marathon all the time, but you don't care because you see the students smiles, lights going off in their brains, and you know it's all worth it.

These past couple of weeks have been extremely busy, working till 7pm most nights preparing for the first round of STAAR, managing my daughter's choir concerts, family, church, and other school commitments, even on weekends.  No down time.  The noises began to get to me and I found myself seeking quiet times wherever I could get them, but as I got more and more tired, even the smallest of noises began to send me seeking relief inward, through sleep, but I just couldn't get enough.  Again, my husband jokes that I can sleep through anything.  I've slept through hurricanes, severe weather, even through plane rides missing the Aurora borealis as we flew into Alaska one time.  So imagine, if you will, a overworked, tired, mind won't stop person who hears the dishwasher running, the water flowing, the TV blasting the kids favorite show on Sprout, the refrigerator door opening and slamming, the child tapping their cup on the table over and over, the youngest chatting away about school and books, your oldest trying to relay information about choir practices/concerts, the D-Hall she got for tardies, the husband telling you about a night he needs to work late, the supplies he needs for his own class, the staff at school relaying information that is important to them about STAAR, asking questions, even the air conditioner sound in my van...after a while, I just want to put my fingers in my ears and make it stop.  You might be nodding your head about now, either knowing what I'm talking about or thinking "Seriously, get over it."  And if you are in the later category, you are not alone.  I've said that to people before, not understanding why they acted that way.

But here's what it did for my perspective...How many times do we miss those subtle clues about our own students?  How many times do our students try to tell us in body language, in facial expressions, in other non-verbal ways that they need a personal time-out for their own sanity?  Not because they are trying to be rude, defiant, or disrespectful, but so they can survive and regroup and move on.  I hope I take time, and I hope you take time to watch, observe, ask yourself (and myself) questions, and then think about ways we can provide what our students need.  Maybe they need a quiet island, maybe a space under your desk to regroup themselves.  Do we acknowledge that they need this or do we tell them to "get over it."  Just something to think about as we move further into testing season and into the spring long haul of the school year.

Lessons from my Beauties

I have 3 daughters, that I call Beauty #1, Beauty #2, and Beauty #3.  Respectively, they are 16, 11, and 5.  Each one is completely unique in all aspects and each one has taught me some important life lessons along our journey as parents that have carried over into my teaching career.

Beauty #1 is has seen me work hard, working a full time job, and having gone back to school full time at the same time.  She has taken this to heart and shows me every day how driven she is and rock steady she is in her life.  She reminds me a lot of myself at that time in my life, but as any parent would most likely say, she outdoes me and I'm proud of her for that.  She has taken a full course load at her high school, where almost every class is either dual credit or AP type for 2 years now.  She even went to summer school, earning more dual credit, when she could have rested all summer.  She's on track to graduate HS with nearly 1 year of college credit under her belt.  She is my reminder to never give up, to set goals, to work hard towards those goals, and to not let obstacles get you down.  She is the essence of the word perseverance.

Now, Beauty #2 is unique in the looks department with her crazy, long, unruly, naturally curly hair, that causes me much anguish, but causes her great pride.  She is my most disorganized child, but also my most creative.  She finds joy in being different and never takes others criticism personally, just telling me that they are just jealous that she has something unique that they wish they had.  Beauty #2 is also gifted in her education, but is a very well rounded child, who loves to read, sing, and cook.  She reminds me daily that it's ok to be different, for after all, how will you stand out in a crowd, if you aren't different.  She is the walking embodiment of unique.

Beauty #3 came along in our life when we thought we were done being blessed with children, and she is a joy in every sense of the word.  She loves, laughs, and plays with her whole being.  She is a total family girl, always asking to go to Grandma's and her favorite cousin's home.  She is an attached Mommy and Daddy's girl, our shadow.  Beauty #3 is a chatterbox, loving to talk about anything under the sun, play games, and just be together with those she loves.  She is my daily reminder that it's ok to have fun, to laugh, enjoy time with family, and to just be.

While Beauty #1, #2, and #3, all are my pride and joy, they have each taught me some important life lessons that I hope we can all teach to our students at school.  Work hard, never give up!  Embrace who you are, God gave you those gifts! And love, laugh, and enjoy now...the present is a special gift you can't get back!