Interrupting Normal

It's been quite some time since I last wrote a blog post and much has happened in that time.  We officially became a licensed foster home.  We have some littles in our home now.  Hurricane Harvey hit our city, and while we didn't sustain any damage or injury, many, many, many not even 3 miles from us lost everything.  And we have now had 2 snow days for the 2017-2018 school year, something unheard of in H-town.  And I've gone from a Math/Science teacher to just Science (and Writing, if that even counts as a stand alone subject).  Many changes!

You know, we get very comfortable in our routines and life.  There was a long stretch in my marriage, where my husband and I said, "Us four and no more."  And then God blessed us with Beauty #3, six years after Beauty #2.  And for the last seven years, it's been the Windham Five.

For years, my sister talked to us about the possibility of becoming a foster family, and it just didn't seem like a possibility for us financially.  Or at times, with my husband's diabetes, our life seemed unstable and didn't have a rhythm to it.  But, it was like God was speaking to me and saying, "If you wait for the timing to be perfect, then you never will foster or adopt.  There will never be a perfect time."  And God is always right and always right on time!  So, in April 2017, we started on that journey by submitting an application with a child placing agency, started taking the classes, submitting records, etc to get our home ready.  And in October 2017, we officially became a licensed foster home.  It was so exciting for our entire family!  Our kids would share the updates as we went through the process with their Youth pastors, Children's pastors, teachers, family, etc. 

I watched a video recently introducing families to foster care and it said that families usually get into this for 2 reasons: to have a family or to give a kid a family.  For us, it was always, and will always be, to give a kid a family.  I really think that even with all the ups and downs, I have an AMAZING family that any child in trauma could benefit from.  We went into this foster/adopt process looking for a child that needed a home for forever.  Looking for a child that already had parent rights terminated, but would also be a good fit for our family.

So many things that happen to kids, that are reasons they are in care usually, are not something we often think about.  For example, with our 7, 13, and 18 year old girls, a teen boy would not be wise, not any older child who had been sexually abused (as they could possibly act out that same abuse on others), nor kids younger than school age due to child care situations.  You just never think about these things until you are placed into those situations.  But we knew, as we waited, that there was someone that God had for us to love on and care for as a FAMILY.

Our littles came to us though an emergency need for movement and we were linked though Facebook.  A need was voiced, we were tagged in it.  But due to our bedroom situation and their genders, just didn't know if we could help.  A few days passed, many other people responded that they wished they could help, but couldn't, and after 3 days, my husband told me to find out the CPS workers info and see what we could do.  All that to say, that 4 days after we contacted her, they were in our home.  And they have interrupted our normal every day since.  They have shown me the depth of love my family has, and the need for love they have.  There's a saying for teachers that I've often heard, "Those who need love the most, will ask for it in the most unloving ways."  And it fits in their situation to some degree.  Due to their ages and closeness to my own kids, they aggravate each other, just because.  But they also, play and care for each other much too. 

I love how they have shown me things about our Lord through their situation, like how God will never leave or forsake us.  How even when we are so extremely frustrating to God, He doesn't give up!  I've learned that no matter how much I try to steer their case in the direction I want it go, I can't.  I have no control and that's the way God wants us, to leave all control to Him!  I have seen adults disappoint me, promises made and not kept, words used against me.  I've had to explain to doctors what was done to them and have had to explain to the dentist that the color of their teeth, which shows neglect, was not from me.  I've watched their little hearts be broken when visitation is over, and been there to change their clothes when they wet themselves in the dentist office when an overwhelming sedation with restraint happened.  I've held them through tears and been the tough love giver when a temper tantrum starts.  I've also seen the generosity and kindness of foster closets, complete strangers to us, and family helping with new beds, clothes, and mattresses.  This fostering journey has been nothing I've been prepared for, could even have planned for, or imagined.  And at times, when I hope for things to go my way with their case, I also feel guilty for wishing that because it means that their bio parents and family fail.  It's a constant pull on my emotions and heart and strength.  But, I wouldn't have done anything differently.  And no way, could we have said no to having them in our home when a plea was made and not filled. 

Bottom line is our normal has been interrupted because we said YES to what God dropped in my spirit last year.  While the road looks uncertain, unsure, or scary, saying YES to GOD will have an eternal impact.